The upside to marrying your high school sweetheart is never really having to go through the whole dating scene. High school dating doesn’t really count as real-life dating because your available matches are continuously with you through history class and pep assemblies. You have whole chains of friends who will let you know if he likes you the way you like him, and then you can get on AOL Instant Messenger after school and start chatting each other up. Who knows, maybe you can get your parents to take you to meet him at the movies!
I consider my husband and I to be fortunate. We never had to deal with online dating, Tinder, the whole “do I text him first or does he text me?” dance. No second-guessing if that kissy-face emoji was cute or suggestive. We have joked that we could never, ever split because we’d both be hopeless in the dating world.
The same goes for friends. We still have a lot of our same friends from high school. It was easy to make friends in high school or college (compared to now) because you are with those same people all the time. I’m so happy that I still have those long-time friends. The ones who know your history, your family, and how many times you’ve gotten bangs and grown them out. Sometimes your guy friends marry really awesome girls, so you get some new girlfriends, and you can bond over funny stories about their husband’s high school years. I cling so tightly to those friendships because they are so important to me.
I also cling tightly to them because I am terrible at mom-dating. Cat and Nat (who are hilarious and you need to watch their videos, STAT), perfectly described mom dating. You have to find your type, someone with a similar schedule as you, someone with kids the same age as yours, etc. There’s a lot of criteria. And HOW in the world do you meet other moms? I’m really lucky that one of my best friends (yes, from high school) lives near us and has kids the same age as mine. She is a boss-mama and works full-time in addition to being an amazing mom and wife, so lining up our schedules gets tricky sometimes, but when it does, we have the best playdates!
But again, how do you meet other moms? I chit chat with the other moms at dance class, but I’m usually busy keeping my son out of their purses (because he’s a baby, not a klepto), so that doesn’t go anywhere. I have joined some groups on Facebook for moms and for bloggers that help build a “virtual village,” but doesn’t do much for face to face interaction. Some days I feel totally content with the socialization I get the kids, but some days I think it would be so nice to have more people to go play with! I just have no idea how to move it to the next level.
Enter Peanut. AKA Tinder for moms.
A family friend who is always up to date on new apps sent it to me a couple days ago in case I was interested. I downloaded it to see what it was all about, and I think it is pretty nice! Basically, you set up a very simple profile, and then you are shown profiles of other local moms. You swipe up if you want to wave and swipe down to say “maybe later.” I thought the “maybe later” was a really nice way to pass a person, because you could always come back to them later. You are just shown a picture, a name, their kids’ ages, and some badges (think- sleep deprived, mom boss, crafty mom, wine buddy, etc) on the initial screen, but you can view their full profile before swiping up or down. I’m so glad I viewed each profile before swiping, because I avoided waving at a mom with TOTAL opposite views from mine (she was vehemently anti-vax, for example) and ended up waving at a mom who I might have initially passed. You are notified when someone waves at you, and then you can start a conversation. I’ve already had a nice conversation with another mom! Who knows if it will turn into a playdate, but it was nice to at least make a connection!
So, go join Peanut, wave at some moms, and see if there’s some Chickalay* in your future.
*It’s how my daughter, and consequently, my husband and I say Chick-Fil-A. It rolls off the tongue a little nicer.